In this week's Good Man series, we are asking what are the characteristics of a good man.
Today we tap the insights of some Year 7 boys from a school in Ballarat. At a Time & Space event last month, these young blokes were asked if someone had given them the space to 'step up' or they had taken an opportunity to step up and show their capabilities, their maturity and show that they are on their way to becoming a fine young man. There are some great examples here...
When my dad had an injury and I said I would do the mowing for him. And now it's a regular thing.
Yes because I'm good at moving the sheep on the motorbike.
When ____ first let me use the 'Whipper Snipper'.
Last year I stepped up to helping my friend when he was not really happy.
There's a palpable pride in these boys' comments. At the evening, the boys really understood that concept... they had an intuition about moments in their life when they 'stepped up'. When young people are invited to be generous, fill a gap when they are genuinely needed, the foundations of adulthood are made stronger.
In the next post, you'll see how the dads and mentors have noticed the acts of kindness in their boys that show the characteristics that will help them become fine young men. Did you have a moment where you where invited to step up?
Feel free to write your thoughts below.
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au/
Friday, 26 November 2010
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
Good Man Profiles # 2 and 3
Here are two more short, sharp insights about good men in the view of a couple of dads from Ballarat.
My Brother, (name withheld), honoured and loved his wife and showed real integrity watching her die for five years.
When my son-in-law came to me telling me he wanted to marry my eldest daughter.
A couple more examples of a good man thanks to the fellas from Ballarat. Unstinting and loving sacrifice in the first instance and a bit of old fashioned honour in the latter.
Next post, we'll tap the wisdom from the Year 7 boys (13 year olds - their ideas of who/what makes someone a good man). But don't forget... you are welcome to offer your own opinion in the space below.
What do you think make up the characteristics of a good man? Who is a good man you know and why is he is a good man?
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au/
My Brother, (name withheld), honoured and loved his wife and showed real integrity watching her die for five years.
When my son-in-law came to me telling me he wanted to marry my eldest daughter.
A couple more examples of a good man thanks to the fellas from Ballarat. Unstinting and loving sacrifice in the first instance and a bit of old fashioned honour in the latter.
Next post, we'll tap the wisdom from the Year 7 boys (13 year olds - their ideas of who/what makes someone a good man). But don't forget... you are welcome to offer your own opinion in the space below.
What do you think make up the characteristics of a good man? Who is a good man you know and why is he is a good man?
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au/
Monday, 22 November 2010
Good Man Profile # 1
This week I'm passing on the insights of some Year 7 boys (about 13 years old) and their dads (or mentors) from a school in Ballarat, Victoria, Australia.
In the last blog post, the question was raised, 'What are the characteristics of a good man?'
Here's what one dad wrote...
I remember as a small boy my family travelling in the car & my dad stopping to help a drunk woman on the footpath. It spoke to my heart deeply & I have never forgotten the impact in regards to loving those in need.
What are the characteristics of a good man? Or, who is a good man that you know and why is he a good man?
You are welcome to write your thoughts in the space below. Give your answer. Share your story.
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au
In the last blog post, the question was raised, 'What are the characteristics of a good man?'
Here's what one dad wrote...
I remember as a small boy my family travelling in the car & my dad stopping to help a drunk woman on the footpath. It spoke to my heart deeply & I have never forgotten the impact in regards to loving those in need.
What are the characteristics of a good man? Or, who is a good man that you know and why is he a good man?
You are welcome to write your thoughts in the space below. Give your answer. Share your story.
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au
Saturday, 20 November 2010
Copping a good question
I copped a real poser recently - a great question that has seeped into my mind and heart. It went something like this...
What are the characteristics of a good man?
I was asked this during a phone interview for The Mercury in Tasmania.
So many questions shoot off from this. Can't the same characteristics be those of a good woman? How is it possible to be definitive?
I remember running a panicky inner dialogue something along these lines, "Oh no, that's a tough one... c'mon Bill you're the parent-child program guy... you should know the answer... all your work started in the father-son area... she's trying to write some good news about the two boys' schools you work for in Tassie... c'mon Bill, say something profound and expert-y'.
My recollection is suggesting something about how a good man can regulate his anger. A lot of blokes push all of their emotions through the funnel of anger because paradoxically, anger feels 'safe' - it is standard 'bloke' mode.... and just because your blogger runs parent-child programs, doesn't mean he doesn't go 'off-tap' on occasions. C'mon - I've got two teenage kids!
I think I might have said something about the man, who is a dad, giving his kids time... not even quality time, just time.
That'll do I thought. In one sense, the answer given captured the two things I have to say (at this stage) to parents...
1. No one is perfect.
2. Half the battle is 'being there'.
But many men are not parents. So the question... 'what are the characteristics of a good man?', has stayed with me.
The thought has occurred that many would have their own answer to this question. So this week, I'll be blogging a fraction more than usual. The journalist asked a fine question. I suspect that my own answer will always be incomplete but I'll give you what I've got after the next few posts. The next posts will present the answers some others have offered - some men and some Year 7 boys who wrote their thoughts on this theme at a recent Time & Space program in Ballarat.
And feel free to offer your own answer here in the space below - 'What are the characteristics of a good man?'
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au/
What are the characteristics of a good man?
I was asked this during a phone interview for The Mercury in Tasmania.
So many questions shoot off from this. Can't the same characteristics be those of a good woman? How is it possible to be definitive?
I remember running a panicky inner dialogue something along these lines, "Oh no, that's a tough one... c'mon Bill you're the parent-child program guy... you should know the answer... all your work started in the father-son area... she's trying to write some good news about the two boys' schools you work for in Tassie... c'mon Bill, say something profound and expert-y'.
My recollection is suggesting something about how a good man can regulate his anger. A lot of blokes push all of their emotions through the funnel of anger because paradoxically, anger feels 'safe' - it is standard 'bloke' mode.... and just because your blogger runs parent-child programs, doesn't mean he doesn't go 'off-tap' on occasions. C'mon - I've got two teenage kids!
I think I might have said something about the man, who is a dad, giving his kids time... not even quality time, just time.
That'll do I thought. In one sense, the answer given captured the two things I have to say (at this stage) to parents...
1. No one is perfect.
2. Half the battle is 'being there'.
But many men are not parents. So the question... 'what are the characteristics of a good man?', has stayed with me.
The thought has occurred that many would have their own answer to this question. So this week, I'll be blogging a fraction more than usual. The journalist asked a fine question. I suspect that my own answer will always be incomplete but I'll give you what I've got after the next few posts. The next posts will present the answers some others have offered - some men and some Year 7 boys who wrote their thoughts on this theme at a recent Time & Space program in Ballarat.
And feel free to offer your own answer here in the space below - 'What are the characteristics of a good man?'
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au/
Friday, 5 November 2010
A Selfless Act
Bumped into a former colleague yesterday - top person. She had just received some bad news that she had missed out on a promotion. Tough when that happens - vulnerability is exposed. In the time I was chatting with her, someone else came up and said, 'bad luck'.
You probably recall a similar experience. You put yourself out there, experienced disappointment and everyone wants to commiserate with you. They're being kind. You know that. All you want to do though, is crawl under the nearest rock.
I remembered that her Aussie Rules team won the premiership this year. Asking if she managed to get a ticket, she said she did have one but she passed it up. From little girl and now as a young woman, she had always gone to footy with her dad.
"One ticket doesn't get you two seats... I decided to watch the game with my dad on the TV."
That is kindness. I do believe the universe looks after us - something even better should come her way soon.
Thanks for taking the Time & Space to read this.
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au/
You probably recall a similar experience. You put yourself out there, experienced disappointment and everyone wants to commiserate with you. They're being kind. You know that. All you want to do though, is crawl under the nearest rock.
I remembered that her Aussie Rules team won the premiership this year. Asking if she managed to get a ticket, she said she did have one but she passed it up. From little girl and now as a young woman, she had always gone to footy with her dad.
"One ticket doesn't get you two seats... I decided to watch the game with my dad on the TV."
That is kindness. I do believe the universe looks after us - something even better should come her way soon.
Thanks for taking the Time & Space to read this.
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au/
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
Who's in Your Corner?
My Dad and I are pretty different. He's fine detail, I'm big picture. If you read one of my blog posts and find a typo in it, you can be sure that I haven't sent it to Dad for a forensic proof-read. He's read two drafts of this and suggested that I get my 'dads' consistent - he recommended going with upper case 'Dad' all the way through. I defer to the master!
This year marks my full-time move into the Time & Space program work and Dad has quietly responded when I have needed a hand.
"Hey Dad... can you pop over and just help me get what's in my head, down on paper?" Dad crosses town and is sitting next to me, asking all the practical questions, prompting and suggesting. He does the same but different things for my sister, brothers and all our kids (his grand kids).
Yesterday I needed someone to step in for the opening night of the 2010 Time & Space program at St Kevin's College. A couple of circumstances for my usual helpers meant that it looked like I would be running solo. Someone needs to greet people at the front desk, do a couple of other administrative things for the program set-up. With only a few hours notice, Dad was there.
Michael McGirr recently shared his insights (in The Age) about Mary MacKillop who is to become Australia's first saint on the 17th of this month. She once wrote, 'never see a need without doing something about it.' Dad read that line and said that for him it is all about helping his kids and grand kids where he can. He has been technically 'retired' for a few years but that term couldn't be further from the truth in the way he has launched into the next phase of his life. Dad is actively helping his busy adult kids.
So when you're asked 'who's in your corner', what name or face is the first that comes to mind. If you can, get in touch with them and let them know how much you appreciate their support. I'd love to hear your thoughts about who this person is for you or how they felt when you got in touch to say 'thanks'. Feel free to write your thoughts in the space below.
Time to give Dad a call. He's read the drafts - you know that's already happened. Thanks Dad.
Thanks for taking the Time & Space to read this.
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au/
This year marks my full-time move into the Time & Space program work and Dad has quietly responded when I have needed a hand.
"Hey Dad... can you pop over and just help me get what's in my head, down on paper?" Dad crosses town and is sitting next to me, asking all the practical questions, prompting and suggesting. He does the same but different things for my sister, brothers and all our kids (his grand kids).
Yesterday I needed someone to step in for the opening night of the 2010 Time & Space program at St Kevin's College. A couple of circumstances for my usual helpers meant that it looked like I would be running solo. Someone needs to greet people at the front desk, do a couple of other administrative things for the program set-up. With only a few hours notice, Dad was there.
Michael McGirr recently shared his insights (in The Age) about Mary MacKillop who is to become Australia's first saint on the 17th of this month. She once wrote, 'never see a need without doing something about it.' Dad read that line and said that for him it is all about helping his kids and grand kids where he can. He has been technically 'retired' for a few years but that term couldn't be further from the truth in the way he has launched into the next phase of his life. Dad is actively helping his busy adult kids.
So when you're asked 'who's in your corner', what name or face is the first that comes to mind. If you can, get in touch with them and let them know how much you appreciate their support. I'd love to hear your thoughts about who this person is for you or how they felt when you got in touch to say 'thanks'. Feel free to write your thoughts in the space below.
Time to give Dad a call. He's read the drafts - you know that's already happened. Thanks Dad.
Thanks for taking the Time & Space to read this.
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au/
Monday, 27 September 2010
Washing the Dog
Do you ever notice things have changed through some task that you do repeatedly?
I had this experience on the weekend. It is part of my household role description to wash the dog. We've got a West Highland Terrier named Sno-Joe (my daughter wanted to call him Snowy and my son wanted to call him Joseph!) He is approaching ten years old. Still pretty fit and well but definitely getting older. So the first thing noticed with this regular task is that Sno-Joe didn't flinch when I asked him if he wanted a bath. The words 'bath' or 'wash' tend to see him get up and find a hiding spot. It is terrible teasing but we always get a laugh from our dog's antics - please don't tell me that dogs aren't intelligent creatures.
So, Sno-Joe was up for a bath. He walked towards me and seemed to be saying... "Yeah, I am a bit pongy. I'll take the wash!" (Yes I know I'm anthropomorphising him - but I challenge you to convince me that dogs are not people.) The big thing I've noticed over the last few washes is that when I tell him he is good to jump out of the bath, he is now really struggling to get out. As a sprightlier hound, he always cleared the bath-tub edge on the first attempt. Now it takes him quite a few goes. There will be a point in the not too distant future where I will have to lift him out. But my heart is saying 'not just yet'.
The thing for me with this is that my kids have grown up from being real little people as Sno-Joe has gone from being a puppy, to a dog in his prime to the beginnings of an 'old man'. I want our dog to keep being fit and independent... but with my kids, I want time to put the brakes on their independence just for a little while yet. I want my kids to hold back on growing up. My daughter is seventeen, my son fourteen and every week, there are signs that those little people are disappearing. My daughter had a friend over last week and got out some old school photos - her first year in primary school... just eleven years ago. Then she found another class photo of her in Grade Two - the year we brought Sno-Joe home as a puppy. How quickly does the time go?
The rhythm of household routines and everyday rituals that we practice can pique moments in time and enliven the memory. I am proud of how my kids are growing up but part of my 'dad-DNA' worries for them just like I'm sure my mum and dad felt for me. Repeated activities have a meditative dimension that invite our attentiveness. I notice these feelings attached to the shifts in time as tiny bits of grief that have their melancholy, their bitter-sweet edge but there's stacks of love too, in the mix of all this. That attentiveness maybe helps us to invest small pieces of extra trust in our kids as they make their journey towards young adulthood.
I guess that the challenge is to enjoy every moment. It is 9.46am in the morning here in Melbourne - my teenagers are still fast asleep (on school holidays). Who knows what time they will wake up? They need their sleep... but old man Sno-Joe is up and sitting at my feet as I write. Time to sieze the day and take him for a walk. It is certain that he will he will be deleriously happy about this simple invitation. It is great having an appreciative dog when you have teenagers in the house!
What are the everyday tasks and rituals that give you a subtle measure of the steady movement of time? Feel free to write your answers below. Also - have a guess at what time you think my kids will wake up today! I'll let you know in the space below!
Thanks for taking the Time & Space to read this.
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au
I had this experience on the weekend. It is part of my household role description to wash the dog. We've got a West Highland Terrier named Sno-Joe (my daughter wanted to call him Snowy and my son wanted to call him Joseph!) He is approaching ten years old. Still pretty fit and well but definitely getting older. So the first thing noticed with this regular task is that Sno-Joe didn't flinch when I asked him if he wanted a bath. The words 'bath' or 'wash' tend to see him get up and find a hiding spot. It is terrible teasing but we always get a laugh from our dog's antics - please don't tell me that dogs aren't intelligent creatures.
So, Sno-Joe was up for a bath. He walked towards me and seemed to be saying... "Yeah, I am a bit pongy. I'll take the wash!" (Yes I know I'm anthropomorphising him - but I challenge you to convince me that dogs are not people.) The big thing I've noticed over the last few washes is that when I tell him he is good to jump out of the bath, he is now really struggling to get out. As a sprightlier hound, he always cleared the bath-tub edge on the first attempt. Now it takes him quite a few goes. There will be a point in the not too distant future where I will have to lift him out. But my heart is saying 'not just yet'.
The thing for me with this is that my kids have grown up from being real little people as Sno-Joe has gone from being a puppy, to a dog in his prime to the beginnings of an 'old man'. I want our dog to keep being fit and independent... but with my kids, I want time to put the brakes on their independence just for a little while yet. I want my kids to hold back on growing up. My daughter is seventeen, my son fourteen and every week, there are signs that those little people are disappearing. My daughter had a friend over last week and got out some old school photos - her first year in primary school... just eleven years ago. Then she found another class photo of her in Grade Two - the year we brought Sno-Joe home as a puppy. How quickly does the time go?
The rhythm of household routines and everyday rituals that we practice can pique moments in time and enliven the memory. I am proud of how my kids are growing up but part of my 'dad-DNA' worries for them just like I'm sure my mum and dad felt for me. Repeated activities have a meditative dimension that invite our attentiveness. I notice these feelings attached to the shifts in time as tiny bits of grief that have their melancholy, their bitter-sweet edge but there's stacks of love too, in the mix of all this. That attentiveness maybe helps us to invest small pieces of extra trust in our kids as they make their journey towards young adulthood.
I guess that the challenge is to enjoy every moment. It is 9.46am in the morning here in Melbourne - my teenagers are still fast asleep (on school holidays). Who knows what time they will wake up? They need their sleep... but old man Sno-Joe is up and sitting at my feet as I write. Time to sieze the day and take him for a walk. It is certain that he will he will be deleriously happy about this simple invitation. It is great having an appreciative dog when you have teenagers in the house!
What are the everyday tasks and rituals that give you a subtle measure of the steady movement of time? Feel free to write your answers below. Also - have a guess at what time you think my kids will wake up today! I'll let you know in the space below!
Thanks for taking the Time & Space to read this.
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au
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