I'm sitting here, late in the evening. Just seen a movie with my wife 'I Love You Too'. Written and co-produced by Melbourne comedian, Peter Helliar. It had some wonderful Melbourn-ish references. I know people hang signs expressing loving messages off road overpasses in other parts of the world.. but it does happen quite a bit here in Melbourne.
What I love about the movie is that it wasn't perfect. It didn't quite knit together but it had more than a few flecks of gold in it. It is going to be very hard not to seem patronising here but Helliar has gone and done something a stretch beyond what I thought it was that he does. He broke out of the mould of his national persona and made something that can be shipped to the world beyond Australia's shores. It has got some genuinely touching moments... just see it for the scene where Charlie, a photographer (played by Peter Dinklage of 'Death at Funeral Fame') prompts a memory as he talks to, asks questions of a senior couple. He tries to capture in one shot, the years of love they have built up.
I've really been thinking alot recently about Seth Godin's concept of things being 'shipped'. If you want to get stuff done, it seems fairly logical but you have got to get stuff done... that means pressing send or 'post this blog' and not worry about things not being perfect. It doesn't mean, 'be deliberately sloppy'... or that is it is OK to always do things in a half baked fashion. It does mean though that it is so important not to be frozen by the fear that what you do is not going to be perfect. I've read a couple of reviews of 'I Love You Too' - one gave it a bit of a bake. I say, more power to Helliar for getting the movie out there. He published.
My son plays soccer for a local team. I help out with some things on the junior club committee. The other day we applied for a community grant... it wasn't absolutely ready. A couple of the pieces of information we were asked to provide weren't ready. I just put 'xxxxxxxx' in that box on the e-form and sent it anyway.
Guess what - we got the grant!
As I write this in our home office, my daughter is here too on her computer pleading that I go to bed soon as the sound of my typing fingers, heavy on the keyboard are driving her nuts. She has been working on a history essay that has to be in by midnight. She thought she had until the end of this week. There was a choice there, ask for an extension or get it done. A few moments ago I heard a really compact summary of the battle a group of women took on to get the vote in the early twentieth century... she has been chipping away for a few hours now and it sounds good. She just pressed 'send' (got it in at 11.59pm) and in a moment I will click 'publish post'.
Thanks for taking some 'Time & Space' to read this.
Bill Jennings
http://www.time-space.com.au
Monday, 10 May 2010
Friday, 7 May 2010
A Mother's Day Gift
It's Mother's Day on Sunday in this corner of the planet.
Earlier in the week,one of the very first schools in Melbourne that took on the Time & Space programs had their annual Mother & Son night. They always schedule around Mother's Day. Two older students, who both happen to be called 'Luke', were part of the 'panel of experts' that we set up for each program - they help set the scene for the interactions that happen between the participating mums and boys. So the two Lukes were there without their own mums that night. I reckon, they both provided an extraordinary example to these newest boys of the school who came along with their mum (or aunty, grandma).
Asked to find and describe a special quality in their mum, 'Luke 1' said first, "I found it pretty hard to limit it to just one quality". His face contorted as if to show just how tough a struggle it was to sum up what his mum means to him. He zeroed in on his mum as his personal 'encourag-er'. She had given him the confidence to have a go at things. 'Luke 1' clearly appreciated this.
'Luke 2' said that the word that best sums up his mum is 'selfless'... he then reeled off a litany of traits and actions that captured this special quality. I was struck by his openness. 'Luke 2's' face shone as he spoke... it was reflected right back at him as I saw how moved the mums present were... a couple of gentle tears, some glowing smiles. You could hear the thoughts of those women present... "Your mum would be so proud of you".
Luke 1 and 2... there is a lot of discussion about role-modeling today. It is often tagged to negatives, associated with the celebrity cult. You two blokes showed the younger boys an authentic way of expressing sincere appreciation and you are only three years older than them.
And whilst your mums were not actually there in the school library, you gave them a gift. You took time to carefully consider one special quality amongst, no doubt, the many that you see in your mum. You took time to think about her.
I know at least one of your mums knew that you talking about her that night... how special do think she felt that you were telling an audience what was good about her.
So following your lead, Lukes 1 & 2, let's all consider one special quality in our mum... and let her know.
Hey mum (yep, that's you Joan!) - it is your 'thoughtfulness' for mine, evidenced by the text you sent me last night!
And what about you, reader of this post? Even if she is not around now... take the Time & Space to consider one special quality in your mum and send a little expression of appreciation for that quality out to the universe.
Thanks for reading and happy Mothers Day.
Bill Jennings from 'Time & Space'
http://www.time-space.com.au
Earlier in the week,one of the very first schools in Melbourne that took on the Time & Space programs had their annual Mother & Son night. They always schedule around Mother's Day. Two older students, who both happen to be called 'Luke', were part of the 'panel of experts' that we set up for each program - they help set the scene for the interactions that happen between the participating mums and boys. So the two Lukes were there without their own mums that night. I reckon, they both provided an extraordinary example to these newest boys of the school who came along with their mum (or aunty, grandma).
Asked to find and describe a special quality in their mum, 'Luke 1' said first, "I found it pretty hard to limit it to just one quality". His face contorted as if to show just how tough a struggle it was to sum up what his mum means to him. He zeroed in on his mum as his personal 'encourag-er'. She had given him the confidence to have a go at things. 'Luke 1' clearly appreciated this.
'Luke 2' said that the word that best sums up his mum is 'selfless'... he then reeled off a litany of traits and actions that captured this special quality. I was struck by his openness. 'Luke 2's' face shone as he spoke... it was reflected right back at him as I saw how moved the mums present were... a couple of gentle tears, some glowing smiles. You could hear the thoughts of those women present... "Your mum would be so proud of you".
Luke 1 and 2... there is a lot of discussion about role-modeling today. It is often tagged to negatives, associated with the celebrity cult. You two blokes showed the younger boys an authentic way of expressing sincere appreciation and you are only three years older than them.
And whilst your mums were not actually there in the school library, you gave them a gift. You took time to carefully consider one special quality amongst, no doubt, the many that you see in your mum. You took time to think about her.
I know at least one of your mums knew that you talking about her that night... how special do think she felt that you were telling an audience what was good about her.
So following your lead, Lukes 1 & 2, let's all consider one special quality in our mum... and let her know.
Hey mum (yep, that's you Joan!) - it is your 'thoughtfulness' for mine, evidenced by the text you sent me last night!
And what about you, reader of this post? Even if she is not around now... take the Time & Space to consider one special quality in your mum and send a little expression of appreciation for that quality out to the universe.
Thanks for reading and happy Mothers Day.
Bill Jennings from 'Time & Space'
http://www.time-space.com.au
Friday, 30 April 2010
A Daughter's Tribute
My friend Heidi is a champion - generous, funny and a great animator in our local community. We are lucky around here because over the years our friends, formed through the connection of our kids' local primary school, have created a few music groups. Whilst my 'day job' (that happens mostly at night) is facilitating life time memories for parents and their kids, I do also belong to a band made up of four dads who play covers at our local shops once a month. We practice in my shed from time to time. This structure is the eponymous (I love the word 'eponymous') inspiration for our band name. SHeD! In fact one of our guitarist's kids thinks my name is actually 'SHeD'! It will be a sad day when he starts calling me Bill.
Heidi is part of a group of six local mums and dads called 'Sirens' who rehearse at our friends, Nick and Clare's place - they have a studio out the back and so you can see that the pattern of eponymous band names finished on a sequence of one as Heidi's band do not practice in a siren (I promise you that I will limit the bad 'dad' jokes to only one every few blogposts!)
Sirens and SHeD and other local parents' bands get together in the shed once a year for a big party... it is an annual tradition now. We have had many memorable 'Cold August Nights', 'Rocktobers' and 'Warm November Rain' parties over the last decade.
We had a different day last Saturday - Sirens and SHeD held a 'Parents Concert' at Heidi and Tony's place... the point of difference was that the parents there were my parents, Heidi's parents and the mums, dads and aunties of a number of the band members. Heidi's thinking was that it is rare that our own parents get to hear the music we make together. At the end of the day SHeD member, Tim's dad remarked that "it was just like going to your kid's school concert except that all the kids are in their fifties!" (NB - this blogger is still way early into his forties!)
So this extraordinary gathering played and listened... SHeD played first, and not being 'age-ist' still required (as is their custom) all song requests to be sent by text message, rather than called out verbally (far more efficient). My dad hogged the request line sending in texts at a pace that would exhaust the thumbs of even the most tech-savvy Gen Y-er. We shared food in between band performances. I tried to race one of Steve's (from Sirens) kids in eating as many of the beautiful chicken drumsticks made by his γιαγιά (pronounced ya-ya', Greek for Grandmother).
"How many did you have Bill?"
"Four" I said to Steve's son, feeling pretty confident I had won.
"I stopped after six" he declared with a conquering tone.
Sirens played next. I took a seat at the back just behind my mum and dad. I love listening to the girls sing and they had some new material. Dad leaned over to mum and I heard him share an insight...
"This is not just community but its world community".
In Sirens, Clare and Nick are Macedonian, Heidi was born in England, Lisa is Irish and was born in Wales, Sandra was born here in Australia and is fourth or fifth generation and Steve is Greek. Here was the world playing for us underneath what we call the 'West Preston skies!' I got a bit of a shiver... something special was happening. The mums and dads were clearly moved.
Heidi's 'parents' concert' idea had a simultaneous inspiration that I felt honoured to witness. For many years, she has had a poem written by her mum, Bonny, in her possession. I asked Heidi and Bonny's permission if this could be the topic of today's post. Here's some background that Heidi e-mailed to me earlier this week.
'Hi Bill, ... Sadly for your blog, my mum wrote that poem while she was bored at work and that’s about all she says about it although she definitely remembers writing it and it’s more than thirty years since she wrote it. I was about sixteen when I was ferreting through mum’s dresser looking for a pair of earrings. I found the earrings but I also found the poem stuffed (literally) into a drawer. I took it and thirty years down the track I asked some of our very talented friends to put it to music for me.'
The culminating moment was Heidi singing her mum's words in a song she had recorded with Stephen from SHeD and Nick from Sirens who wrote some music to go with them.
For Bonny - it was a total surprise. Heidi sang her words and then presented her mum with a CD recording of the song. Here are the lyrics...
I’d like to weave my dearest dreams
My fondest recollections
In silks of finest gossamer
And fairy floss confections
And as the gentle breezes blow
The silks float in the air
The fairy floss melts sweetly
And all my life is there
The snow white shapes of drifting clouds
The hot sand on my toes
The multi coloured butterflies
The fragrance of a rose
The careless days of golden youth
When time ran on forever
A world of dreams like Peter Pan
In lands of Never Never
To understand the sadness
To hear my music play
To live and breathe the many things
I find so hard to say
…so hard to say
Mingled tears and laughter
Of early adolescence
When moods were black and hopeless
Or bright and effervescent
Too old to run to mother
Too young to know the ways
The struggling in-between years
So bittersweet the days
And all these things would be there
In my tapestry of dreams
Wafting in the sunlight
And drifting in moonbeams
And just to make it perfect
My daughter would be there
To sense and feel the living
That’s trembling in the air
To understand the sadness
To hear my music play
To live and breathe the many things
I find so hard to say
…so hard to say
Bonny Cox
Heidi provided a stunning moment of tribute to her mum. It was palpable to those of us lucky enough to be there, that we had experienced something beautiful... a true act of love from a daughter to her mum.
My mum sent me a text the next day... 'Thx again 4 a lovely occasion yesterday. It was very special.'
In the work I do, the focus is often on the influence a parent or mentor can have on a young person... if you are a daughter or son reading this - never doubt the power you have to make your mum or dad feel like their efforts in raising you are appreciated. Heidi - I'm proud to count you as a friend. You made the world different last Saturday, in a very good way. And Bonny, thanks for your poetry.
And to you thanks for taking the 'Time and Space' to read this!
Bill Jennings - http://www.time-space.com.au
Heidi is part of a group of six local mums and dads called 'Sirens' who rehearse at our friends, Nick and Clare's place - they have a studio out the back and so you can see that the pattern of eponymous band names finished on a sequence of one as Heidi's band do not practice in a siren (I promise you that I will limit the bad 'dad' jokes to only one every few blogposts!)
Sirens and SHeD and other local parents' bands get together in the shed once a year for a big party... it is an annual tradition now. We have had many memorable 'Cold August Nights', 'Rocktobers' and 'Warm November Rain' parties over the last decade.
We had a different day last Saturday - Sirens and SHeD held a 'Parents Concert' at Heidi and Tony's place... the point of difference was that the parents there were my parents, Heidi's parents and the mums, dads and aunties of a number of the band members. Heidi's thinking was that it is rare that our own parents get to hear the music we make together. At the end of the day SHeD member, Tim's dad remarked that "it was just like going to your kid's school concert except that all the kids are in their fifties!" (NB - this blogger is still way early into his forties!)
So this extraordinary gathering played and listened... SHeD played first, and not being 'age-ist' still required (as is their custom) all song requests to be sent by text message, rather than called out verbally (far more efficient). My dad hogged the request line sending in texts at a pace that would exhaust the thumbs of even the most tech-savvy Gen Y-er. We shared food in between band performances. I tried to race one of Steve's (from Sirens) kids in eating as many of the beautiful chicken drumsticks made by his γιαγιά (pronounced ya-ya', Greek for Grandmother).
"How many did you have Bill?"
"Four" I said to Steve's son, feeling pretty confident I had won.
"I stopped after six" he declared with a conquering tone.
Sirens played next. I took a seat at the back just behind my mum and dad. I love listening to the girls sing and they had some new material. Dad leaned over to mum and I heard him share an insight...
"This is not just community but its world community".
In Sirens, Clare and Nick are Macedonian, Heidi was born in England, Lisa is Irish and was born in Wales, Sandra was born here in Australia and is fourth or fifth generation and Steve is Greek. Here was the world playing for us underneath what we call the 'West Preston skies!' I got a bit of a shiver... something special was happening. The mums and dads were clearly moved.
Heidi's 'parents' concert' idea had a simultaneous inspiration that I felt honoured to witness. For many years, she has had a poem written by her mum, Bonny, in her possession. I asked Heidi and Bonny's permission if this could be the topic of today's post. Here's some background that Heidi e-mailed to me earlier this week.
'Hi Bill, ... Sadly for your blog, my mum wrote that poem while she was bored at work and that’s about all she says about it although she definitely remembers writing it and it’s more than thirty years since she wrote it. I was about sixteen when I was ferreting through mum’s dresser looking for a pair of earrings. I found the earrings but I also found the poem stuffed (literally) into a drawer. I took it and thirty years down the track I asked some of our very talented friends to put it to music for me.'
The culminating moment was Heidi singing her mum's words in a song she had recorded with Stephen from SHeD and Nick from Sirens who wrote some music to go with them.
For Bonny - it was a total surprise. Heidi sang her words and then presented her mum with a CD recording of the song. Here are the lyrics...
I’d like to weave my dearest dreams
My fondest recollections
In silks of finest gossamer
And fairy floss confections
And as the gentle breezes blow
The silks float in the air
The fairy floss melts sweetly
And all my life is there
The snow white shapes of drifting clouds
The hot sand on my toes
The multi coloured butterflies
The fragrance of a rose
The careless days of golden youth
When time ran on forever
A world of dreams like Peter Pan
In lands of Never Never
To understand the sadness
To hear my music play
To live and breathe the many things
I find so hard to say
…so hard to say
Mingled tears and laughter
Of early adolescence
When moods were black and hopeless
Or bright and effervescent
Too old to run to mother
Too young to know the ways
The struggling in-between years
So bittersweet the days
And all these things would be there
In my tapestry of dreams
Wafting in the sunlight
And drifting in moonbeams
And just to make it perfect
My daughter would be there
To sense and feel the living
That’s trembling in the air
To understand the sadness
To hear my music play
To live and breathe the many things
I find so hard to say
…so hard to say
Bonny Cox
Heidi provided a stunning moment of tribute to her mum. It was palpable to those of us lucky enough to be there, that we had experienced something beautiful... a true act of love from a daughter to her mum.
My mum sent me a text the next day... 'Thx again 4 a lovely occasion yesterday. It was very special.'
In the work I do, the focus is often on the influence a parent or mentor can have on a young person... if you are a daughter or son reading this - never doubt the power you have to make your mum or dad feel like their efforts in raising you are appreciated. Heidi - I'm proud to count you as a friend. You made the world different last Saturday, in a very good way. And Bonny, thanks for your poetry.
And to you thanks for taking the 'Time and Space' to read this!
Bill Jennings - http://www.time-space.com.au
Wednesday, 14 April 2010
Mick
Recently I ran a Mother-Son night for a school in Adelaide. On my way to the airport in a taxi... bags have been packed the night before, feeling pretty smug - 'wow my new routine and my prepared packing list for interstate trips seems to be going smoothly', I think to myself.
Get through check-in, on my way to security and that is when I miss my mobile phone. I've got ten minutes to boarding my plane. I head back out to the taxi drop off point. The taxi is gone. I check and see if it is in the gutter - no. Then I see a man in an airport security uniform. I ask if a mobile phone has been handed in. He says "no - check at Qantas' lost property desk" he advises fairly half heartedly.
This is where Mick - the hero of that hour, that day and this blogpost steps forward. He starts instructing the security guy, "Hey ring this guy's phone!" and he asks me "What's your number?" I dictate it to the security man whilst at the same time remembering I had it on silent.
"Show me your taxi receipt", Mick asks "it will have the cab number on there, I will drive down to the cab pool and get your phone!" Everything is happening fast. I hold some suspicions at the extraordinary effort Mick is making - no question.
"I've got to be at my boarding gate in less than five minutes, it won't work... I won't be able to wait that long."
Mick produces the next solution "Here is my card - ring your phone number when you get to your destination... where are you going?"
"Adelaide" I say.
"I will talk to you on your phone in about an hour then... when do you get back?" asks Mick.
"Tomorrow"
"What time?"
"About half three"
"I will be here with your phone and I will drive you home in my taxi limousine"
As I fly to Adelaide I think conspiring thoughts about Mick - 'ah, that was the catch... I'm going to be going home tomorrow in a Limmo for more than double what I would pay in a taxi... still I can't really begrudge his industriousness' I reflect, trying to think generously.
I ring from Adelaide airport. Yep Mick's got my phone.
"Look Mick - it is so nice what you have done but I can't really afford to go in a Limmo mate."
"It is the same price as a taxi - I will look after you I promise! You pay whatever you usually pay."
"I've only got cab charges Mick."
"I take cab charges - it will be no problem."
So I spend a day without my phone (now there is a topic for another posting but for now let me recommend having a 24 hour period without your phone - it is great exercise in discovering that you still can actually breathe and perform most daily tasks without a problem - try it!). I have delivered the program which went beautifully and I am on my way back.
Pick up my bags... walk out the designated place and there is Mick, waving at me next to his beautiful luxury car.
No taxi rank to wait in... my own driver in a wonderful clean car all because I accidentally left my phone behind. I take a seat in the front... there is my phone - Mick hands it to me.
"Bill, you will see that I made no calls but I did take the liberty of charging it up for you - the battery was low!"
We talk as we headed home (Mick even had my address but I was not concerned now - he had my full trust) and I hear Mick's passion for the service he offers in his business. We talk about my enterprise, how I love seeing parents and mentors sharing life memories with their kids and at the same time, creating a life memory as they speak. That gets Mick talking about his own kids, grown up... he emigrated to Australia as so many Europeans did looking for better opportunities and I can tell, here is a good dad proud of his kids... here is a good man. I am in the presence of goodness all because of my absent mindedness - this is sweet injustice!
As we arrive home, the fare is of course, as promised, nothing more than a normal fare. The final generous act is upon us... not me offering a significant tip - but Mick insistently refusing it!
"Bill, you do not live far from me... all I would ask is that you consider me to be your driver to the airport for your interstate trips... I do not want a tip, I want your business from now on."
Mick - you've got it.
How sad is it that I held Mick in suspicion... 'he's going to pinch my phone, he's going to charge me $100 to take me home' were some of my conspiracy theories.
Generosity when it is unqualified, surprises us. When offered with little expectation of reciprocity that is when it absolutely shines... if some good karma comes back, great.
Mick now has a new customer and I am a better person for experiencing his willingness to go beyond the call. He is a very good businessman but more importantly, he is a very good man.
Thanks for reading.
Bill Jennings from Time & Space
http://www.time-space.com.au
And if you want to get Mick's contact details... e-mail me bjennings@time-space.com.au
Get through check-in, on my way to security and that is when I miss my mobile phone. I've got ten minutes to boarding my plane. I head back out to the taxi drop off point. The taxi is gone. I check and see if it is in the gutter - no. Then I see a man in an airport security uniform. I ask if a mobile phone has been handed in. He says "no - check at Qantas' lost property desk" he advises fairly half heartedly.
This is where Mick - the hero of that hour, that day and this blogpost steps forward. He starts instructing the security guy, "Hey ring this guy's phone!" and he asks me "What's your number?" I dictate it to the security man whilst at the same time remembering I had it on silent.
"Show me your taxi receipt", Mick asks "it will have the cab number on there, I will drive down to the cab pool and get your phone!" Everything is happening fast. I hold some suspicions at the extraordinary effort Mick is making - no question.
"I've got to be at my boarding gate in less than five minutes, it won't work... I won't be able to wait that long."
Mick produces the next solution "Here is my card - ring your phone number when you get to your destination... where are you going?"
"Adelaide" I say.
"I will talk to you on your phone in about an hour then... when do you get back?" asks Mick.
"Tomorrow"
"What time?"
"About half three"
"I will be here with your phone and I will drive you home in my taxi limousine"
As I fly to Adelaide I think conspiring thoughts about Mick - 'ah, that was the catch... I'm going to be going home tomorrow in a Limmo for more than double what I would pay in a taxi... still I can't really begrudge his industriousness' I reflect, trying to think generously.
I ring from Adelaide airport. Yep Mick's got my phone.
"Look Mick - it is so nice what you have done but I can't really afford to go in a Limmo mate."
"It is the same price as a taxi - I will look after you I promise! You pay whatever you usually pay."
"I've only got cab charges Mick."
"I take cab charges - it will be no problem."
So I spend a day without my phone (now there is a topic for another posting but for now let me recommend having a 24 hour period without your phone - it is great exercise in discovering that you still can actually breathe and perform most daily tasks without a problem - try it!). I have delivered the program which went beautifully and I am on my way back.
Pick up my bags... walk out the designated place and there is Mick, waving at me next to his beautiful luxury car.
No taxi rank to wait in... my own driver in a wonderful clean car all because I accidentally left my phone behind. I take a seat in the front... there is my phone - Mick hands it to me.
"Bill, you will see that I made no calls but I did take the liberty of charging it up for you - the battery was low!"
We talk as we headed home (Mick even had my address but I was not concerned now - he had my full trust) and I hear Mick's passion for the service he offers in his business. We talk about my enterprise, how I love seeing parents and mentors sharing life memories with their kids and at the same time, creating a life memory as they speak. That gets Mick talking about his own kids, grown up... he emigrated to Australia as so many Europeans did looking for better opportunities and I can tell, here is a good dad proud of his kids... here is a good man. I am in the presence of goodness all because of my absent mindedness - this is sweet injustice!
As we arrive home, the fare is of course, as promised, nothing more than a normal fare. The final generous act is upon us... not me offering a significant tip - but Mick insistently refusing it!
"Bill, you do not live far from me... all I would ask is that you consider me to be your driver to the airport for your interstate trips... I do not want a tip, I want your business from now on."
Mick - you've got it.
How sad is it that I held Mick in suspicion... 'he's going to pinch my phone, he's going to charge me $100 to take me home' were some of my conspiracy theories.
Generosity when it is unqualified, surprises us. When offered with little expectation of reciprocity that is when it absolutely shines... if some good karma comes back, great.
Mick now has a new customer and I am a better person for experiencing his willingness to go beyond the call. He is a very good businessman but more importantly, he is a very good man.
Thanks for reading.
Bill Jennings from Time & Space
http://www.time-space.com.au
And if you want to get Mick's contact details... e-mail me bjennings@time-space.com.au
Saturday, 3 April 2010
Knocking Down the Old BBQ
We've got family friends over from Adelaide for Easter. John is a former builder and a great dad... he's originally from the US, met Eileen and moved over to Aus'. Eileen is my wife Lisa's cousin and we've got kids about the same age. We have been able to see each others' kids (all teenagers now) grow up over the years.
I am still climbing the steep J curve of handy man knowledge... at 43, I know two things: how to paint the outside of a house and my specialty - filling a skip! So we produced some rubble yesterday by knocking down an old BBQ in the corner of our back yard... this fulfilled one of our Easter catch up traditions... having a practical project around the house. One Easter I served my 'skip filling' apprenticeship at John and Eileen's house as we tidied up some branches on an overhanging tree. I loved it. My job was to jump around inside the skip and compress the branches into the smallest space.
So yesterday morning John and I picked out the demolition of the BBQ as this year's project. A couple of calls to some (more) practical mates than I and the necessary tools were procured... a bolster, a mallet and a bloody big mallet. We started. John, on the ladder, removed bricks from the top and checked that the shed that the BBQ was attached to, wouldn't actually fall down. The process started... John takes a few bricks off... I march them into the space we had made inside the shed.
Out comes Jack, my 13 year old son.
"Can I help?" asks Jack. "Actually buddy, we need some nails knocked in on that firewood, I've got around the corner... could you grab a hammer and have a go at that for a while?" He did it! half an hour later... John has got to a point where he doesn't need to be on the ladder and he calls out to Jack "Do you want have a go at this pal?" Jack is right there on the spot... up for it, wanting to help. John shows him how to let the bolster and the mallet do the work... how to tackle the brick from the side and in a few moments, it's my son handing over the bricks for me, his labourer to ferry onto the pile we're making in the shed.
John goes and gets his son Sean who has a go himself. The team swap between the sweeping of the rubble... the spading up of the rubbish and the knocking down and piling of the bricks.
It was 3-4 hour project... two dads and their teenage sons, working together. They did a great job. John and I actually sat back at the end and let them finish.
This was a small demolition project but it was also a magical mentoring construction project. You could almost feel the appreciation these young blokes had. I know my son loves being in the company of adults and here he was making a genuine adult contribution to the project... Jack getting praise from John, Sean from me. There's got to be something in all of this. Here were two young fellas launching in, complete with designer boxers sticking out the top of their jeans... just throwing themselves into some physical labour. As a dad, it is great being around John... I love the way he operates, his generous spirit. As a dad I love our Easter catch up tradition.
We knocked down a BBQ yesterday but so much more was going on.
Half the battle is being alongside your kids and having your kids alongside some good mentors.
Thanks for reading.
Bill Jennings from Time & Space.
I am still climbing the steep J curve of handy man knowledge... at 43, I know two things: how to paint the outside of a house and my specialty - filling a skip! So we produced some rubble yesterday by knocking down an old BBQ in the corner of our back yard... this fulfilled one of our Easter catch up traditions... having a practical project around the house. One Easter I served my 'skip filling' apprenticeship at John and Eileen's house as we tidied up some branches on an overhanging tree. I loved it. My job was to jump around inside the skip and compress the branches into the smallest space.
So yesterday morning John and I picked out the demolition of the BBQ as this year's project. A couple of calls to some (more) practical mates than I and the necessary tools were procured... a bolster, a mallet and a bloody big mallet. We started. John, on the ladder, removed bricks from the top and checked that the shed that the BBQ was attached to, wouldn't actually fall down. The process started... John takes a few bricks off... I march them into the space we had made inside the shed.
Out comes Jack, my 13 year old son.
"Can I help?" asks Jack. "Actually buddy, we need some nails knocked in on that firewood, I've got around the corner... could you grab a hammer and have a go at that for a while?" He did it! half an hour later... John has got to a point where he doesn't need to be on the ladder and he calls out to Jack "Do you want have a go at this pal?" Jack is right there on the spot... up for it, wanting to help. John shows him how to let the bolster and the mallet do the work... how to tackle the brick from the side and in a few moments, it's my son handing over the bricks for me, his labourer to ferry onto the pile we're making in the shed.
John goes and gets his son Sean who has a go himself. The team swap between the sweeping of the rubble... the spading up of the rubbish and the knocking down and piling of the bricks.
It was 3-4 hour project... two dads and their teenage sons, working together. They did a great job. John and I actually sat back at the end and let them finish.
This was a small demolition project but it was also a magical mentoring construction project. You could almost feel the appreciation these young blokes had. I know my son loves being in the company of adults and here he was making a genuine adult contribution to the project... Jack getting praise from John, Sean from me. There's got to be something in all of this. Here were two young fellas launching in, complete with designer boxers sticking out the top of their jeans... just throwing themselves into some physical labour. As a dad, it is great being around John... I love the way he operates, his generous spirit. As a dad I love our Easter catch up tradition.
We knocked down a BBQ yesterday but so much more was going on.
Half the battle is being alongside your kids and having your kids alongside some good mentors.
Thanks for reading.
Bill Jennings from Time & Space.
Wednesday, 31 March 2010
Following Up
Last time I said I'd get back to you on the knife issue that has been gripping Melbourne and Australia more broadly in recent times. It does seem to be a bit quieter now as the media pack feed on something else. I still think the key is to listen to the young people who have been labelled as the main proponents of the issue and that is what will happen as the program day Time & Space has built for hearing young people's voices, evolves.
But let's not reinvent the wheel - here are three great links related to the issue... two capture genuine 'listening exercises' that have happened in the last month and one is the story of an extraordinary man who lost his son to a random act of violence.
I love the insights of Father Bob Maguire - if you are a Melbournian, you'll know who he is... Fr Bob is a legend, champion of the fair go and you don't have to be religious to enjoy his unique slant on the gospel 'knifing' story he refers to in the first link below.
Next Lindy Burns host of Drive on 774 ABC Melbourne conducted a forum recently.
Then the story of Azim Khamisa - a man who forgave the murderer of his son!
Fr Bob's Blog...
http://www.fatherbob.com.au/2010/03/11/forgive-them-they-don
Lindy Burns' Knife Forum
http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2010/03/11/2843355.htm?site=melbourne&program=melbourne_drive
And get this... it is simply amazing - this is pure forgiveness
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch//?id=4833368n
Will write again soon
Bill Jennings from Time & Space
http://www.time-space.com.au/
But let's not reinvent the wheel - here are three great links related to the issue... two capture genuine 'listening exercises' that have happened in the last month and one is the story of an extraordinary man who lost his son to a random act of violence.
I love the insights of Father Bob Maguire - if you are a Melbournian, you'll know who he is... Fr Bob is a legend, champion of the fair go and you don't have to be religious to enjoy his unique slant on the gospel 'knifing' story he refers to in the first link below.
Next Lindy Burns host of Drive on 774 ABC Melbourne conducted a forum recently.
Then the story of Azim Khamisa - a man who forgave the murderer of his son!
Fr Bob's Blog...
http://www.fatherbob.com.au/2010/03/11/forgive-them-they-don
Lindy Burns' Knife Forum
http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2010/03/11/2843355.htm?site=melbourne&program=melbourne_drive
And get this... it is simply amazing - this is pure forgiveness
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch//?id=4833368n
Will write again soon
Bill Jennings from Time & Space
http://www.time-space.com.au/
Saturday, 27 February 2010
The Stan Alves Impact
Today I heard Stan Alves share his story with a group of over 200 Year Nine boys (14-15 year olds). More to the point I saw him share his story and, at the same time witnessed the reaction of these kids.
I am not going to give away the details because you might hear Stan yourself one day... I have worked with Stan numerous times now and I always marvel at how he has been able to turn adversity on its head and be so positive about life, so appreciative of his important people - now and in his past. Stan has a profile... 283 games of Aussie Rules at the highest level... captain of the Melbourne Football Club - the oldest football club in the world if you don't mind! (I think you will find, UK readers, that Melbourne beats your oldest FA team by one year!) Stan played in a premiership, coached a team to a Grand Final and finished a close second in the Brownlow medal - the highest individual Australian Football honour there is. He is a successful businessman and has been a respected football broadcaster for the ABC for many years now.
Stan shared some deeply personal stuff, as he is always prepared to do, to get across a message about how important it is for the boys to cherish their time with the people who love them. There is always the moment when he divulges the unexpected event in his story and the silence that follows is always deeply respectful... you can almost hear the thoughts in the boys' minds... bringing to the forefront of their consciousness the people who are most important to them. He creates a compelling argument for the boys to consider participating in Time & Space - a program for boys and their dads or mentors. (Click here http://www.time-space.com.au )
There continues to be a media frenzy that unavoidably associates boys with violence. A cloud of fear is directed at young men generally today. We have had some tragic recent moments... a boy died a couple of weeks ago in his own school, allegedly the victim of a knife attack by a fellow student. There is growing attention to the prevalence of knife carrying and knife fights and injuries. Most of the time the knife injuries and deaths are caused and received by young men... but only a few. I'll write some more about the possible causes of this in my next post.
I was lucky to have lunch with Stan prior to his talk. I asked him what he thinks about the media attention on the 'knife issue'... some thoughts are brewing about how Time & Space might be able to offer a program for boys in response to this most recent negative attention on young men. We agreed that most young blokes are good people... we wondered if the young men carrying knives are frightened themselves and that fear builds on another's and we get a kind of 'arms race' amongst young people.
We threw some ideas around... Stan concluded, "we've really got to be able to listen to these boys." There was a sense that adults had been doing most of the theorising on 'the knife issue' in recent times. Good suggestion Stan - let's listen to the young men themselves. I'm now cooking up a way to make that happen for groups who would like to hear what is going on for young males in our society.
Back to Stan's talk... this is what I saw. The session has finished and the boys from this particular school were heading out to lunch. I then saw the impact Stan had made. One after the other scores of young blokes just waited to thank Stan... a handshake, good eye contact and some simple yet profound expressions of gratitude. "You really made me think - thanks"... "That's the most inspirational story I have heard". Some just shook his hand. All of them looked him in the eye. It was an honour to witness close up. The sincere looks of gratitude, the unspoken 'thank-yous' showed how just so many boys there are who can access what is important, who aren't scary and who are just decent and basically good people. I just wanted you to get the good news about young men.
You can contact Stan Alves through his website http://www.stanalves.com.au/
Thanks for reading and giving yourself a bit of Time & Space.
Bill Jennings from 'Time & Space'.
http://www.time-space.com.au/
I am not going to give away the details because you might hear Stan yourself one day... I have worked with Stan numerous times now and I always marvel at how he has been able to turn adversity on its head and be so positive about life, so appreciative of his important people - now and in his past. Stan has a profile... 283 games of Aussie Rules at the highest level... captain of the Melbourne Football Club - the oldest football club in the world if you don't mind! (I think you will find, UK readers, that Melbourne beats your oldest FA team by one year!) Stan played in a premiership, coached a team to a Grand Final and finished a close second in the Brownlow medal - the highest individual Australian Football honour there is. He is a successful businessman and has been a respected football broadcaster for the ABC for many years now.
Stan shared some deeply personal stuff, as he is always prepared to do, to get across a message about how important it is for the boys to cherish their time with the people who love them. There is always the moment when he divulges the unexpected event in his story and the silence that follows is always deeply respectful... you can almost hear the thoughts in the boys' minds... bringing to the forefront of their consciousness the people who are most important to them. He creates a compelling argument for the boys to consider participating in Time & Space - a program for boys and their dads or mentors. (Click here http://www.time-space.com.au )
There continues to be a media frenzy that unavoidably associates boys with violence. A cloud of fear is directed at young men generally today. We have had some tragic recent moments... a boy died a couple of weeks ago in his own school, allegedly the victim of a knife attack by a fellow student. There is growing attention to the prevalence of knife carrying and knife fights and injuries. Most of the time the knife injuries and deaths are caused and received by young men... but only a few. I'll write some more about the possible causes of this in my next post.
I was lucky to have lunch with Stan prior to his talk. I asked him what he thinks about the media attention on the 'knife issue'... some thoughts are brewing about how Time & Space might be able to offer a program for boys in response to this most recent negative attention on young men. We agreed that most young blokes are good people... we wondered if the young men carrying knives are frightened themselves and that fear builds on another's and we get a kind of 'arms race' amongst young people.
We threw some ideas around... Stan concluded, "we've really got to be able to listen to these boys." There was a sense that adults had been doing most of the theorising on 'the knife issue' in recent times. Good suggestion Stan - let's listen to the young men themselves. I'm now cooking up a way to make that happen for groups who would like to hear what is going on for young males in our society.
Back to Stan's talk... this is what I saw. The session has finished and the boys from this particular school were heading out to lunch. I then saw the impact Stan had made. One after the other scores of young blokes just waited to thank Stan... a handshake, good eye contact and some simple yet profound expressions of gratitude. "You really made me think - thanks"... "That's the most inspirational story I have heard". Some just shook his hand. All of them looked him in the eye. It was an honour to witness close up. The sincere looks of gratitude, the unspoken 'thank-yous' showed how just so many boys there are who can access what is important, who aren't scary and who are just decent and basically good people. I just wanted you to get the good news about young men.
You can contact Stan Alves through his website http://www.stanalves.com.au/
Thanks for reading and giving yourself a bit of Time & Space.
Bill Jennings from 'Time & Space'.
http://www.time-space.com.au/
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